OK guys I need like serious help! there is something wrong with the beginning of my story I used to really like and now I'm not so sure. its like its not the same thing or something you know?? I still like it its just i want to know if you guys think i should change it?? so please help I've already posted it it is the one labeled "life"it is right under neath 'the memory of Annie'! so please scroll down and read it and leave a comment because ya just help me out! thanks to all that help!
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We are a group of 8th and 9th grade students (plus two advisors) from a middle school in Utah. Our club meets every other week to write and share our writing with others. This blog is a place for us to post bits and pieces of the stories and novels we have in the works. We are hoping for good, specific feedback in our efforts to improve our writing. We love comments, but please remember our tender ages (except for the old-lady advisors). We are looking for suggestions, but we hope you'll stay positive in your comments.
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The War of the Words
Please do not plagiarize! We have worked hard on our ideas, characters, plots, conflicts, literary devices, etc. The writing published here belongs to the individual who wrote it. Please do not steal from us!
Thanks,
The War of the Words
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7 comments:
Question...what story..?
k so if you scroll down a ways its the one labeld "life"
Hmm I really liked that one it sounds like you've got good ideas. Maybe you could kind of slow it down, like let us get to know the Addie before Mike comes into the picture.
I agree with Mysti. Definitely slow it down. Add some more detail or dialogue. And i don't want to sound like too harsh a critic but I found it a little strange that the first thing a guy would mention about a girl he hasn't seen in a while is her hair. But maybe they do, i dont really know.
Anyway, good nonetheless!
no im glad you said that i just didnt really know anouther way to like describe her hair or you know? ok thanks but im not really sure what to do like how to slow it down make scence
I can't help with descriptions because that's what I'm the worst at, but when it comes to slowing it down just do what I said. Add more dialogue and more detail.
Don't worry about it too much right now though. The best thing to do right now is finish the book. Editing can be done later, right now just get all your ideas down on paper.
ok thanks a ton im not very close to finishing it yet but ill just like finish and ya ill read it over but thanks
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