Friday, March 27, 2009

um here is part of my story! i hope you guys like it!


"RUN!!! Hurry go go go!!" I ushered her down behind my fathers throne. For a moment I was worried her neon blue skin and orange hair would give us away but quickly forgot about that when I heard Chad’s deep booming voice come into the room.
“Come out come out where ever you are my little princess.” He said then added. “If you be good then I’ll let you be my queen. I bet you would like that huh? Of course that little maid of yours will have to go but don’t be upset about a little thing like that.”
“Do it…now.” I whispered to Alex.
“NO!!!!!!!” It sounded just like me but from the next room over. You see Alex is a ventriloquist. She is better at it than anybody else in the whole kingdom.
“Ah. There you are my darling.” Chad was saying as he walked down the hallway into the other room. I peeked out behind the chair to see where he was. Gone. Good. I motioned with my hand for Alex to fallow me as I ran as quickly and quietly down the long hallway. We didn’t stop until we got to my bedchamber. I opened the door and walked in. Alex just stood outside the door.
“Ugh!” I cried in frustration. “Come on! No more princess crap! Get in here now!!” I pulled her in after me. She nodded once I closed the door and we went and sat n the gigantic pink bed of mine. Note to self if we live through this change bedclothes to green.
“Ok.” I said in a whisper. “You did great out there Alex but Chads not an idiot and will figure out soon enough that you tricked him.”
“ I know. I’m just still glad he hadn’t transformed yet. Its terribly hard to trick him then.” She told me in a non-whisper. I put my finger to my lips and she nodded. ”Sorry.” She whispered
Phew. I thought to my self. At least that’s over for now.
“ What do we do now. He already has your father and more than half the kingdom locked up! There’s nothing we can do. He’s going to find us kill me and use you to do and go wherever he wants when he wants!” she started to cry. And why shouldn’t she I thought she has every right to be scared I thought to myself.
I took her by the shoulders and gathered her into a hug. We stayed like that for a while before I said.
“ I will never let that creep kill you do you understand that? I’ll do what ever it takes ok?”
She dried her tears on her sleeve and nodded. “How?” I could barely hear her. It sounded like she was trying to hold back more tears but I tried to ignore that fact.
“ I have a plan.” I whispered.
A look of puzzlement washed over her face.
“ What?” she asked still puzzled.
“ Earth.”
“ Earth?”
“ Yes. We are going to earth it’s the only safe place left. Come on get up we need to change.”
I stood up and took her by the hand but she pulled away.
“ No.” She said flatly. “ I’m not going to Earth. There are bugs and-and those things that whirl wind and dust and cows and stuff all over the place like on that one movie. And diseases! We could get sick and die before we even had a chance to fight off Chad!!” she looked almost purple from being so sick.

um yea thats all im going to put for now! and i was wondering do you think i should go back after im done with Nikki (the one telling the story) i should go to brandon?(a regulare boy she will soon meet at school and fall in love with) or should i wait tell she gets to school? thanks your hopeful friend flaming star

3 comments:

Michelle said...

Ha ha I loved that Alex thought of Earth like that! I'm not exactly sure how to answer your question... do you mean should you switch to writing it through Brandon's eyes?

Annie Bakker said...

yea you know like keeping it there and like after this chapter have it be in brandons perspective and then like a back and forth type a thig? does that make sence?

Michelle said...

Oh yeah, now I see what you mean. I think basically if it progresses the plot and it's a good way for your readers to get to know Brandon better, then go for it! Just make sure they know who's eyes they're reading from.